I made what seems to be a costly mistake yesterday. I gave in to a craving, let myself have half of an Oreo Cookie Jar Blizzard, because I had a coupon, and I oh so dearly missed Oreos and cookie dough in soft serve. I was tired last night, but that happens on the weekends, when I'm out in the heat more so than during the week.

But today....today, I am paying dearly for that simple, forbidden indulgence yesterday. I'm trying to make gluten-free donuts for breakfast. It's a new recipe, and somewhat complicated in the procedure. I was disjointed when I started, getting easily distracted by simple things ("Oh, we never put away the new batch of paper towels....Oh, I need to clean this up in the kitchen...."). But then came the time to cut the 5x5 squares of parchment paper needed, and things blew up. The paper's on a roll. It likes to roll back up as I'm trying to measure (with a measuring tape that ALSO likes to roll back up, crushing and crunching the paper as it does). The dough is so sticky, it pulled the spatula apart. I ended up practically in tears, screaming, "These had better be the best fracking donuts EVER!" and "The next time I get the stupid idea to make these fracking donuts, I'm buying parchment that doesn't come on a fracking ROLL!!" I gave up. Matt's finishing them now.

He is so good, so patient. He knows when I have a lapse of judgment in food choices, that the next day is pretty much shot. But he lets me do it anyway, possibly hoping that this time, I'll learn my lesson, and not give in to the forbidden temptation the next time.

...and he's having fun in the kitchen. I hear him in there, giggling, before he exclaims, "You know, if you don't do it the way you're supposed to, it's kinda fun." The recipe wants you to pipe donut-shaped circles onto the 5x5 squares of parchment. He thought the dough was too thick to pipe, so he's just shaping it by hand. "How many are these supposed to make?" he asks. Two dozen. He laughs, "Then I did _something_ wrong."

I'm feeling better now, having washed my hands of the whole donut-making endeavor. I'll have a cup of coffee later, let the caffeine and sugar work their magic. Hopefully, I'll feel up to going to meeting. Right now, I don't. Right now, I just want to go back to bed and hope everything's different when I wake up.

So, the other night, I wanted fried chicken. Since it was a work night, that meant no stopping at Frys or Safeway to pick some up. I had to create my own, gluten-free. Success! I used the recipe from my old Betty Crocker cookbook for buttermilk fried chicken, and instead of the all-purpose wheat flour it called for, used 1/2 cup brown rice flour, 1/4 cup cornstarch, 1/4 cup tapioca starch, and 1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum. Also, I didn't have buttermilk on hand, so I used a cup of milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice instead. It actually looked, tasted, and crunched like regular fried chicken. I was so pleased, that this morning, I got some chicken out of the freezer to thaw, so we can do it again.

Is it odd that for a brief moment, I thought $8 for 5 pieces of chocolate was a good deal?

I signed up for Godiva's rewards program, because of the free piece of chocolate every month. So now I get their e-mails. July's e-mail is talking about their limited-edition ice cream flavored truffles. Their special deal for Rewards members is a 5-piece sampler for $8. Considering that this is normally $11, not a bad deal.

But then I thought about it more. That's over a dollar per piece of chocolate. That's over a dollar and a half per piece of chocolate. That's...not really a deal. I can get a full-size Snickers bar for 50 cents. For $8, I can get 16 Snickers bars.

"But this is GODIVA chocolate," will come the argument. "This isn't some mass-produced candy bar available at every convenience store."

True. It's Godiva, and Godiva is a luxury brand. This is why Starbucks can charge as much for a cup of coffee as I pay for a whole bag of coffee beans. Perception. Now, I'll agree, Godiva is good. I thoroughly enjoyed the free piece I had last month. It was the Open Oyster, hazelnut praline between 2 milk chocolate shells. But when asked to describe it, well... "A nugget of Nutella between chocolate shells."

If the five-piece sampler price ($11) is a guideline, that makes one piece $2.20. Going by Google, I can get 2 13-ounce jars of Nutella for $7. Throw in a chocolate bar from Fresh N Easy ($0.50), and I can get a similar experience, in a larger quantity.

So while compared to its original price, the sampler deal is a good one, compared to alternatives, not so much.

I will admit, though, that if I had the $8 to spend frivolously, I'd probably get it.

Even though I'm gluten-free, there are days...usually Friday nights or Saturdays...where I just want something _normal_. A donut. A brownie. A slice of cake. Something breaded. Something baked that I didn't have to make. And because I don't work on Saturdays or Sundays, I'll give in. I'm not celiac, so it's not an intestinal issue. I don't worry about having debilitating cramps or being tied to the bathroom after eating wheat. What I worry about is my mental state, which is why I only allow myself these temptations on days where I don't have to be at my best the next day.

This is on my mind because last night, I allowed myself a Brownie Batter Blizzard from Dairy Queen. It was good, but I think it was a little too much, because this morning, all I feel like is throwing up. I was going to do a ton of baking today, in preparation for next week, but...there are several contributing factors.

1. Matt found out yesterday that this weekend is the end of his temp job.
2. That bummed him out, so he didn't get the kitchen clean.
3. I cleaned so much at work yesterday that I'm out of cleaning energy.
4. Since he's not working next week, I don't have to make grab-and-go breakfast bars.
5. My stomach is killing me.

I'm still going to get a batch of bread going in the bread machine, and probably start the dough for hamburger rolls, since those are necessary. As to whether I'm going to make the milestone bars or the date bars, well, we'll see.

A quick jotting-down of some of my favorite gluten-free foods and resources:

Pamela's Products: chocolate cake mix, ginger cookies with almonds, basic bread mix.
Glutino: crackers, pretzels, wafer cookies, rice macaroni
Kinnikinnick: KinniToos sandwich cookies
Gluten-Free Pantry: chocolate truffle brownie mix
Trader Joe's: brown rice spaghetti and spirals, ginger snaps, licorice scotty dogs, rice sticks (noodles), gf granola
Ancient Grains: quinoa macaroni
Authentic Foods: superfine brown rice flour (necessary for good cookie texture!)
Red Bridge: sorghum beer
Bob's Red Mill: specialty flours and gums, also has recipes (their snickerdoodles rock)
Ener-G: specialty flours
Barbara's Bakery: Puffins cereal
San-J: wheat-free tamari (soy sauce).  This is what Pei Wei and PF Changs use as their gluten-free soy sauce, as well
Dynasty Foods hoisin sauce
Thai Kitchen noodle bowls and packets

Living Without Magazine: great resource for anyone with food allergies.  Their all-purpose flour blend is my standby.
Recipezaar: has a category for gluten-free.  I've found some great recipes there (funnel cakes!)

The bread machine I have also came with a batch of gluten-free recipes.  The Country White Bread is my mainstay bread; I like to replace the oil with ground flaxseed, and add sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, and poppyseeds for a great tasting, multiseed bread.  Much better than the few commercially-prepared gluten-free breads I've tried.

There are a few other resources I use, like the Gluten-Free Club, but its recipes are not as reliable as Living Without's.  Plus, if you only sign up for the free recipes, you have to deal with the constant barrage of "Join the club!  Join the club!  Join the club!"  So far, only one recipe I've used from there has become a standard in my stable, and that's the bread/roll recipe.  I use that when I'm making a full batch of hamburger rolls.

Also, before spending money on Bob's Red Mill and Ener-G flours, take a look around any neighborhood ethnic markets.  This suggestion was made to me back when I first started complaining about the costs of flours, and I've just now gotten around to it, thanks to a LARGE ethnic grocery opening nearby.  I found white and sweet rice flours, soy flour, garbanzo flour (gram), tapioca starch, potato starch, and arrowroot starch, to name a few, for much cheaper than at the health-food stores.  I also buy my thick rice noodles there, rather than at Trader Joe's.

I got so much done this weekend. Matt had to work Saturday, so I had the house to myself, and could get all six loads of laundry done, most of the dishes that had backed up (three loads of the dishwasher), cleaned out the fridge (chicken had leaked), vacuumed the mattress and got the bathrooms tidied.

Today, we made 2 batches of black bean enchiladas, and I'm making Jell-O and date bars. It's tough to think coherently about lunch at 3 am, so having some things handy is a big help. The enchiladas made enough for three two-piece lunches, one four-piece dinner, and one six-piece dinner. Totally vegetarian, and if you used non-dairy cheese, vegan as well. It'll be nice to just have to pull one of the dinners out and zap it to melt the cheese.   I'll have to make another batch of the Milestone bars tomorrow night, so we have breakfasts.  Only one left from last week, and though I'll have the date bars, Matt doesn't care for dates too much.  Jell-O was made in half-cup Gladware containers, so those are grab-and-go for lunches, too. 

Also, one of the grocery stores was running "super double coupons," so we got some other stuff we needed there. Soy milk, rice milk, chips for snacking, more of the lovely True Lemon Naturally Sweet...

I'm off next Monday, and Matt works. Maybe I'll get the bathrooms _scrubbed_, and get the living room tidied as well as getting laundry and kitchen cleaning done.

I hope everyone has a lovely day off. We're going to be spending it cleaning and baking for the upcoming week. Matt's got a temporary job, on the same side of town where I work, so we're carpooling again....but his shift starts at 4:30 am, and mine not until 9. So we need some grab-and-go breakfast stuff, and lunch-type stuff, and snack-type stuff. This is what we're making:

Milestone Snack Bars - breakfasty-type stuff

Indian Lentil Crepes - for sandwich wraps

Chewy Granola Bars - snack-type stuff

Made the Milestone bars yesterday, as well as some peanut butter muffins, just for the weekend. I substituted dried cranberries for the raisins, and they taste pretty awesome. Could've stood to bake a little longer, as they're still a little wet in the middle. I think I had that problem the last time I used mesquite flour, too.

It's five-forty am. Matt and I've been up since 4. We're getting ready to head out to the grocery stores. The alarm, set for six, won't go off for another 20 minutes.

I don't know why we woke up at 4. We just did. Well, no, amend that. Patch was rattling the bedroom door something fierce to try to get in, so that woke us up, but after that, we were just awake. So, we're going to get a head start on the day. We went through the grocery ads last night, making lists and marking out our route. Seven stores in all, most likely. I don't like price matching. I hated it as a cashier, so I try not to do it as a customer.

I don't think the sun's quite up yet. For some reason, this feels like folly, this early-morning foray into the world. But it must be done.

I am amazed. Okay, to start, my hours got cut starting last week. I now work 9=4:30 instead of 8-4:30. Everyone's hours are getting cut, so only losing one hour a day is acceptable, given that it could be a heck of a lot more.

But, I'm still making myself get up at 6, like I did when I worked at 8. That means I have an extra hour around the house. Last week, it still seemed like things were being cut close. Today, however, I got up, took a shower, got dressed, browned the pierogies in butter for my lunch, packed the rest of it (grapes, string cheese, yogurt and an apple), warmed up breakfast (leftover pancakes with butter and honey), ate breakfast, and still had forty-five minutes of computer time. I'm just stunned that I managed that.

One thing I've seriously missed since going gluten-free is pierogies. My mother-in-law had a recipe for them, and I've been wanting to adapt it to a gf-version for some time now.

Today was that time.

The only substitute I had to make was for the flour. Now, that's always a tricky part. I decided for this first batch, I'd try something simple: Living Without's basic all-purpose gf flour blend: 1/2 cup rice flour, 1/4 cup tapioca starch, 1/4 cup cornstarch. I had to make 5 cups worth (easy enough when the recipe makes one cup), and then add 2.5 teaspoons of xanthan gum for elasticity. The rest of the ingredients stayed the same.

Matt and I were worried. Very rarely has one of our gf-conversions worked on the first try.

This did. They boiled well, didn't separate more than expected, and actually tasted and felt like pierogies!!

I am thrilled!!!

.....now to boil 32 more.....

I'm on a roll. Today, and the past two days, I actually packed my lunch. I'm calling it "mock-bento," because when I think of "bento," I tend to think of two things: 1) Japanese-style food, and 2) cute factor. I've been packing primarily salad with some extras, and I haven't gotten to do anything "cute" yet. But the salads have been tasty, even if my stomach the first day reacted to it.

"SALAD?" it asked. "What the hell do you want me to do with _salad_? I don't know what to do with _salad_! You don't eat salad, you eat _chocolate_!" I had horrible cramps and pain as it tried to break down the spinach, lettuce and carrots. It lasted from half an hour after lunch until after I got home from work that day. Driving home was agony; I was in pain every time I had to move my foot from the brake pedal to the gas pedal. Thankfully, I still have some Digestive Advantage pills, so I took one yesterday morning to prevent a repeat performance, and it seems to have worked. Now I have to remember to take one again this morning!

I've been taking pictures of my lunches, so probably over the weekend, I'll see about uploading them. I've been watching bentolunch for a week or two now, and if the pictures turned out okay, I'll probably post them there.

Hmm, now I really miss my extra userpics...I had one of sandwich-making that would fit this post. :(

Well, we left the house early, because I wanted to price some ingredients at LeeLee (Oriental supermarket) and wanted Matt to come with me. We had to go early because it does have a very strong fish smell, and later in the day, he wouldn't be able to handle it. So, we did our pricing there (I want to make dashi, miso soup, and a broth for the soba noodles I got last time I was there, but with the smaller paycheck this time, not happening this week), then went on to The Dented Can, over in Peoria. We were out of xanthan gum, and it's over $10 a bag most places (close to $12 direct from Bob's Red Mill). The last time I'd been to The Dented Can (over a year ago), I saw xanthan gum there for considerably less.

We ended up spending $10 there. What did we get for our $10? THREE bags of xanthan gum (Bob's Red Mill, a bag of Bob's Red Mill GF chocolate chip cookie mix, and a bag of (yet again) Bob's Red Mill GF rolled oats. Definitely worth the trip.

The next thing on our agenda was going down to the Phoenix Matsuri Festival, downtown. Unfortunately, when we got down there, it was PACKED. What with how I'd been feeling the past week, we decided not to go. So, we went to finish our grocery shopping. Stops at Fresh N Easy, WalMart, and Safeway, and we were done. I didn't get to go to Ikea, didn't get the box I wanted to start bentoing, but I did get a three-pack of divided Rubbermaid containers that would actually work better (and be a better size: 800-some milliliters rather than 2 quarts). So, I have those, I have foods for lunches, and I have a drive to make "cute" lunches. We'll see if that actually happens.

I've been reading bentolunch on LJ, and today, when I took a nap, I dreamt about food and packing lunches. Woke up with a strong desire for rice and eggdrop soup. :-P

Today's makings:

Sugar cookie dough
Ginger snaps
plain spritz cookies
brisket of beef with onion sauce
ham, egg and cheese tortilla sandwich

The sugar cookies I made last weekend didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped. The recipe called for superfine brown rice flour, and all I had on hand was regular brown rice flour, so that's what I used. They spread. The recipe described them as "moist and tender." What I got was "flat, dry, and brittle." So, Monday I stopped at Whole Foods and picked up some superfine brown rice flour. $12 for 3 pounds. Ouch. But, it really is a LOT finer than the standard brown rice flour. It's almost like a starch in fineness. I didn't get around to rolling out the dough, though, so that'll probably be Saturday.

The ginger snaps turned out AMAZING. I think I made them a little bigger than I was supposed to, but that's just fine, because this way, the outside is crispy-chewy, and the inside is soft and moist, and the flavor is amazing. I had to hunt down the bitter orange marmalade, but again, Whole Foods had it.

The plain spritz cookies are a little more powdery than the chocolate ones I made last week. I wonder if it's because they're also non-dairy. Maybe if I add the 3 Tbsp of cream cheese that the other ones had, they'd be a little moister. Plus, I had issues with my cookie gun near the end; I couldn't get the one end off to switch plates, and the dough just wasn't wanting to come out of the gun.

Matt and I didn't want to make a turkey for just the two of us, so instead, I got one of the corned beef briskets out of the freezer, and made the brisket with onion sauce. Boiled the meat for three hours, then finished it in a 400-degree oven for half an hour. Browned two tablespoons sugar in one tablespoon butter, then added one large sliced sweet onion. Covered, let sit until onion was soft, stirring occasionally. Then I added 1 Tbsp cornstarch dissolved in water, 1 cup of the broth from boiling the meat, a tablespoon of cider vinegar, and salt to taste. I let that sit and bubble while the meat finished. That onion sauce is wonderful. Matt was eating spoonfuls of it right out of the pan (better than eating globs of cookie dough out of the mixing bowl, which he was doing earlier).

The ham, egg, and smoked gouda tortilla sandwich came about because I realized it was close to two and I hadn't eaten anything yet.

I love cookies. Troublesome, given 1) my weight, and 2) my gluten-intolerance. That cuts down my cookie intake by a great deal, since store-bought gf cookies are _expensive,_ and I don't have a lot of time to bake. But today, I felt like baking. Living Without magazine has an article on cookies this month, and has a preview of two of the recipes up on their website (livingwithout.com). I've made the dough for the sugar cookies, and it's in the fridge (side note, I was a little startled when a portion of vanilla bean fell out from the bottle of Penzey's Double-Strength Vanilla Extract (penzeys.com)). I'm currently making chocolate spritz cookies, from the recipe found here: http://www.andreasrecipes.com/2006/12/22/cream-cheese-spritz-cookies/ It's not gf, but I can substitute.

They're good. The flour blend I used was the same as in the sugar cookies (since I'd made the whole recipe, which was 6 cups, and only needed 2.5 for the sugar cookies), and added .5 tsp xanthan gum for binding. I also doubled the vanilla (vanilla I bought in Mexico last year on our cruise, since I used up the Penzey's in the sugar cookies). They're a little dry, but I've come to expect and enjoy the dry texture in gf baked goods. I'll be rolling out the sugar cookies later this afternoon (OMG it's 1 pm already, where did the day GO??), since last week I picked up a rolling cloth and pin cover...and cookie cutters. I picked up a set of 100 at Bed Bath and Beyond last weekend (when I got the spritz cookie press, the rolling cloth and pin cover, and a funnel cake kit). For years, I've just been using the round biscuit cutters to cut cookies and the like. Now I can have SHAPES!! They're open plastic, so no imprinted designs on the cookies, but all for the better, because this way, I can use them on biscuits, too. :-)

We went to McDonalds' tonight so I could have a sundae. And what did my wondering eye behold on the menu board?

SHAMROCK SHAKES!!!

Glee!!

I am content.

Dante's foot is doing well, but he may be permanently short a claw. That's fine; he's got 17 others. Still needs to be on antibiotics for another week or so, which is REAL fun, as he's something of a squirmer. He doesn't have to go back to the vet for another checkup unless he starts limping again or we notice something changing about the foot.

Yesterday, I had half a pot of coffee. I also tried to clean the kitchen, ran 2 dishwasher loads, and 4 loads of laundry (three folded and put away; last one was towels and a blanket, in the drier as I went to bed). I think there's a link; maybe I should keep drinking lots of coffee on the weekend, so I keep cleaning. ;)

My water intake's dropped since starting here. I think last week, I had the same bottle of water all week, and only drank half of it (a 750 mL bottle). I know I need to step it up again, especially with the dry season upon us.

My haircut from October has finally grown out to the point where I kinda like it. Only took a month. :-P I need to trim my bangs, though. They're starting to obstruct my vision. I'm tempted to just let my hair grow out over the winter, then get it cut again in April or May. I really don't like paying for haircuts that may or may not be what I wanted. What I need to do is get a copy of the picture I used in July for that haircut.

My other hair problem is that when they did the highlights last time, she didn't do them well. In July, when I had them done at Kate's, Kate put the main color in first, then Jocelyn (I think?) put the highlights OVER that color, so it wasn't "OHMIGODBLONDE!!!" it was a lighter red-copper. When I went to Fantasic Sam's in October, Lily put the highlights in first, and tried to do the main color around them. As a result, she missed a spot around the highlights. I have one spot on the left side that is really dark brown compared to everything else.

I think I may have to give in and just start coloring my hair at home again. It should work out cheaper than a salon, even if home hair color is supposedly more damaging than salon color.

I picked up a cookbook at a thrift store, called "Cooking for Two." I've been planning meals out of it for the past few weeks. So far, no "Blecch, don't make this again," a few hits, and a few, "Eh." What it's really helping with is portion control. Each recipe makes just 2 servings. No leftovers, and no overeating (hopefully). Plus, menuing in advance helps when it's grocery shopping time. No more, "Well, maybe we could use that..." so not as much overspending. Also helps with the "What do you want for dinner?" "I dunno, what do you feel like making?" frustration. On the one hand, having a husband with few food dislikes is great. On the other, I get virtually no input on meals. The usual answer to "What do you want for dinner?" is "Whatever, you know me, I'll eat anything." That's not the answer I want. I don't want "What will you eat?" I want, "What do you WANT?"

But then, he does make waffles for me on the weekends, so I don't complain too overly much.

Today, while getting supplies for the party, I found gluten-free beer at Trader Joes. $7.50 for a six-pack, bottles. Brand is RedBridge, from Anheuser-Busch, and you know what? I like it. It tastes good. It's made from sorghum.

And I am so sleepy, but I need to finish the bottle. Just wanted to share.

(repeated conversation yesterday on my lunch break)

"What are those?"
"Dried hibiscus flowers."
(silence) "You eat those?"
"Yup."

Only one person I offered one to accepted. She said they were different, and interesting, and not that bad. She also managed to peg the texture: fruit roll-up like. The flavor, to me, is somewhere between a dried cranberry and a dried cherry. Red. They're high in antioxidants, and a natural refrigerant. I haven't eaten enough in one sitting to notice any difference in my temperature, though. Plus, a bag at Trader Joe's is only like a buck-fifty.

Side note, for blogofstench. I found the site with the Sims2 machinima I mentioned. http://www.atlas-enterprises.net/ I highly recommend the three-part series "Awakening." Each part is about 30 minutes long, IIRC.

It's been a rough past few days.  

Friday, I woke at quarter to seven, thinking, "Wait, was it this Friday or next Friday Kate was off...?"  I was 90% sure it was next Friday, but there was that 10% of doubt.  So, I called the store to double check.

Just a reminder: I live an hour's drive from my store.  If I'm to be there at 8 when the store opens, I need to leave right at seven, if not a little before.

No one answers the phone until 7.  The GM looks at the schedule, "Nope, Kate's not here, you're in today at 7."

Crap.  "Okay, I'm on my way."

But still...that 90%.  So I sent a message to the department e-mail to Kate, to call me on my cell if she got the e-mail.  

I was about halfway there, had just gotten through the rough section of the drive (construction for a light rail tying up most of the road, and will be tying it up for another year at least), when my cell phone rang.

Yep, it was Kate.  

So, since I was already halfway there, I went ahead and finished out the drive, got a coffee, an apple, and some gluten-free snack bars, hung out at the grocery store, and just went in to work about an hour and fifteen minutes early.  

Kevin, the department manager, said to me later that day, "And I even left Scott several large notes letting him know Kate was going to be _late_ this morning because she had to get paper from another store!"

(shakes head)

Well, I got out of work about half an hour before I was originally scheduled, so Matt and I went grocery shopping, and then went for Chinese food.

I didn't think.  I ordered General Tso's.  I love General Tso's chicken.

General Tso's is breaded.

With wheat flour.

(thunks head on desk)

Saturday was ROUGH.  I wanted to smack customers for being rude, stupid, snarky and condescending.  I was having trouble thinking, trouble with simple math and simple concepts, and I just wanted everything to go away.  However, that was my own doing, and now I know I need to find a good recipe for General Tso's sauce and make it at home with non-wheat breading.

One of my best friends is worried because she's getting married next summer, and the location she's booked only allows catered food, and she doesn't know if she can do a reception safe for me to eat.  I'm so, really, completely touched that she's worried about that.  :)  I have to remind her, though, that it's HER wedding, and HER budget, and that's what she should worry about.  I'll be happy for her, and attend and be happy for her, and throw rice balls at her head, whether I can eat or not.  :-D