Okay, now, the printout is just overall loss, not month-to-month, so I've lost in some areas, and gained in others.

I didn't gain back the 8 pounds I lost when I was sick, so total weight is down 10 pounds. Total inches, 6.75. Body fat pounds, down 7.48.

A lot of what I lost when I was sick was water/fluid, so I need to make sure I stay hydrated, but keep the weight down healthily.

I plan today, to make muffins using the gluten-free baking mix, and bars using dollsahoy's recipe, substituting out for the wheat flour. Grab-and-go breakfast stuff.

Recently, Matt and I used a "Buy One Get One Free" recipe to pick up a couple of Six Dollar Burgers from Carl Jr's. He got the Western Bacon Cheeseburger (I think), and I got the Low-Carb: A burger and its toppings wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun. It wasn't too bad, and wasn't even too tricky to handle.

Well, we're about halfway through the gluten-free month, and I've been behaving. Other than the occasional craving for hot dogs and hot dog buns (usually when I go past the "Arizona's Best Chili Dogs" sign), it hasn't been too bad.

On the frustration/anger issue, the reason I started this, I haven't had any episodes. Haven't had to run out of meeting, haven't felt like killing customers (unless I had a LOT of reason), haven't flipped out for any old reason. Two weeks isn't long enough to really judge, though, so in two more weeks, when the month is up, I'll try introducing a little wheat/gluten back into the diet, and see what happens.

I haven't noticed any change in the fatigue, though. I'm still exhausted all the time. I feel bad, because this month, I've only made it to Curves once. The first two weeks, I was sick with that virus, and after that, it's just been too tiring to even think about. I have a weigh-in on Monday, and I know I gained back the 8 pounds I lost while sick, and possibly more. What's really annoying is I was going to try to step up to 4 or 5 workouts a week this past month. :-P Oh well. There's always May. Wow, we're close to May already. Yikes.

In the Independent Weekly newspaper back in Raleigh, I used to see ads for Jazzercise that proclaimed "Wrestle with the jar lid...and win."

Jar lid? Forget that. I just wrestled with a 5-gallon water jug and won. Yes, I replaced the water jug on the cooler all by my lonesome. Not to mention bringing all four jugs in from the porch by myself. I think Curves is working. :)

Just got back from my workout, and my heartrate actually stayed in the green the whole time!  I even did the entire 2.5 circuit!  Not sure what caused this dramatic turn, whether it was not having caffeine since Thursday, drinking a litre of water while I was there, the effects of the Singulair, or just finally getting used to the workout, but I'll take it.  

Now, if I can repeat it on Monday...

Wednesday, too, I used a different club than my regular one, since I had an opening shift and couldn't get to my  home club while it was open.  The Scottsdale club had two more machines than the Glendale club, so it was kind of nice to have some additional/different exercises available.  I might try to hit that club once or twice a month, just to mix it up.  Heartrate was a little higher there, still, but not into the purple.

I hope this trend continues.  

Four days till the official weigh/measure.  Home scale still shows 220.  I'm hoping for an inch or two lost ANYWHERE, and even just a fraction of a percent body fat lost.  Keep the expectations low, since it's only been a month.  Next month will be time to start adding dietary changes again.  Preportioning the carrots, grapes, and nuts helped, but I think we may either have to stop buying ice cream, or start weighing and preportioning it, too.  Plus, watching fiber, protein, fats, carbs and salt again.  

Suddenly, I'm very tired.  But I need to change and go to work.  I have tomorrow off; we go grocery shopping and can catch up on the week's television.  I love DVR.

My first measuring/weighing day is next week.  I should say the second, because I was weighed/measured when I signed up, but this is the first one since I started.  

I'm not expecting to have lost any pounds, because I do weigh myself at home, and it's been fluctuating +/- 2 pounds all month.  But I'm really hoping to have lost inches.  I feel tighter in places, like my arms, thighs, and butt; people have commented that my belly looks smaller, and I'm noticing it's easier to lift case paper.  I'm still having some heart rate problems, though.  I thought skipping the caffeine would help, but Monday, it was right back up to 30.  (it's a 10-second pulse count, so 30 beats would be three beats a second)

I have an agreement with myself: if I've lost ANYTHING, pounds or inches, I'm allowed to buy the chocolate mint Irish creme I saw at the store.  When I've lost 10 pounds, I get to have a pedicure (a real one).  I haven't really thought much beyond that.  10 pounds is my first goal.  

Well, it's been three weeks now that I've been going to Curves.  Had a scare last week; made it 1.5 circuits before feeling lightheaded, my blood was pounding in my face, and I couldn't catch my breath.  I went to the doctor last Friday, mentioning that shortness of breath was an issue even back 10 years ago when I was thin.  He put me on a thirty-day trial of Singulair and Nasacort (a spray) to see if it helps.  On Saturday, I met with Terri, the owner of the Curves I go to, who's also a nurse.  She worked with me, and we decided that I'd take it REALLY easy on the boards between the machines, and only do 2 circuits rather than the standard 2.5.  

It seems to be helping.  I'm not huffing and puffing so much, and my heartrate's staying on the chart, even if it is still on the high end.  Today, though, I didn't even hit the purple, which is good.  I made the realization the other day that I usually have something with caffeine in it before I work out, whether it's tea, or something chocolate.  Caffeine is a stimulant.  It can increase your heart rate.  (smacks head with hand) So when I realized that, I made a conscious effort today NOT to have anything with caffeine before I went to work out.  I think it helped.

Also, a good note for today: Claire, the trainer who's usually there when I go, commented that it looked like my belly was getting smaller.  I couldn't see it (especially now, sitting down, it still looks as big as ever), but it's nice to hear it from someone else.  What I have noticed, however, is that my upper arms and thighs feel tighter, my pants are looser around the sides of my waist, and I swear my butt feels firmer, even if Matt can't tell.  :-P  I have my first weigh/measure day in a week and a half.  According to my scale here, I'm down 2 pounds, but that can be from anything.  I've been very good at measuring and portioning, most of the time.   I've even got Matt now weighing the pasta before cooking it, rather than dumping in half a pound at a time or more.  

I'm hopeful for the 28th (first measure day).

One week, three workouts done. Still liking it, although I'm kinda glad I don't have to go back until Monday morning.

I've gone at 8 am, 9 am, and 11 am, and all three times, it's been pretty empty, just one or two other women there exercising (and we overlap, so I'm starting as they're finishing, or vice versa) and the Curves employee. I don't know whether they're called trainers or what. Wednesday I managed to finish the two-and-a-half loops, but today I could only do two. I blame 1) my period, and 2) the fact that I spent six hours yesterday helping Ambri organize our storage in the back room. Plus, I'm having trouble keeping my heartrate down in the okay zone. I started off okay today for the first heartrate check, right between the green and blue, but was in the purple zone by the second. Wednesday I kept shooting off the chart into the "too high, burning muscle rather than fat" area. Quick primer: yellow and red are too low, green is target, blue is a little high, purple is risky, and off the chart is bad bad bad. I think, for my age range, I'm supposed to be around 22 for target: 22 beats in 10 seconds. 25 is blue, 28 is purple. I was holding steady at 30 Wednesday.

Another thing to mention: according to sapphirerose924, who joined Curves a few years back but stopped going, their guideline for water intake is one ounce per pound per day. I did some conversions, and figured out that I should be drinking 6.5 liters a day. That's 13 of those half-liter bottles. Over half a case. I think that sort of hit me over the head. I was lucky to get through ONE half-liter bottle a day. I knew I was under-hydrating, but had no idea by how much. I've got my intake up to 2.5 liters a day, mostly. I'll tend to drink half a liter before I leave for work, half a liter on the way to work (it's an hour drive), one liter (two bottles) at work, and half a liter on the way home or at home.

Off to shower. And maybe see if I can find any moisturizer; my face feels really tight today.

For some reason, I've been craving coffee the past few days. Maybe because I'm not really supposed to have caffeine. I'm thinking about just giving in and brewing a pot. As long as I don't adulterate it with tons of sugar, creamer and chocolate, as is my usual modus operandi, I may be able to sneak a cup or three.

On the weight-loss front, this past month was a bust. I think I may have actually regained three pounds. And I know why. I totally went off the diet and exercise. Part of it was the new medication kicking my ass. I was too tired to exercise, and didn't feel like eating what I should have. Part of it was the budget. Couldn't afford to get fresh fruit and vegetables. Plus, my water intake went from 6 to 8 cups a day to like three. After watching a marathon of Celebrity Fit Club 2 the other day, I'm not making any more excuses. That's why I went to the pool yesterday, to get in my exercise. Today, I'm going to pop in Walk Away the Pounds Express and do the one-mile walk. Tomorrow, it'll probably be the tape again unless I can fasten a bra around this sunburn. If I can do that, then I'll head over to the fitness center and walk the treadmill.

So since I didn't lose my required five pounds this month and gained three instead, I now have to lose 29 pounds in four months to reach my goal. If I can get back on track, I might be able to do it. I also need to start taking this medication regularly. I need to see if it's going to help or harm, and only taking it sporadically isn't going to do it. So starting tonight, I'm taking it the way it says to on the bottle, all at once, at night. We'll see if I explode.

Plus I need to go get laundry detergent. Matt seems to think he needs his black pants washed. :-P

Wow! I did it! 10 pounds in 4 weeks!

Now just imagine if I'd actually kept up with my exercise this past month, too... (heh)

I think I lost the five pounds I wanted to lose before August 5th. Then again, it occured to me this morning that I may have been misreading my scale for the last few months. It may have been at 230 all along and I was misreading it as 235. But I'm going to take it as a win, keep following the low-GI guidelines, and see if maybe I can lose another five. Plus keep going to the gym and working out. In that vein, it's time to do my weight routine, then go shower before starting another load of laundry.

Well, I'm on day six of the 30-day eating plan. Most of the recipes were decent (the meatloaf left a little to be desired, but thanks to Matt, I've become a meatloaf snob). The only problem I've had with it recently is that some days, even with the eating every 3 hours...I get hungry every hour and a half. :-P

Oh, and I've spent nearly $200 on groceries this week. I tell myself that a good portion of the things I've bought are "pantry" items, items that aren't just for this week. But then I look over the menus and realize how much I've left off the menu/shopping list (like, all the different flakes and seeds and nuts needed for the multi-grain cereal, and capers, and pine nuts...). Add in that husband and roommate still need "normal" things like bread, lunchmeat, and cheese, and I don't feel too bad about the grocery budget for this past week. And where ARE capers and pine nuts in the grocery stores?? I looked for capers with salad items, with pickles, with italian...I looked for pine nuts with baking nuts, with snack nuts, with international foods...nothing.

I haven't even had a chance to look at what I need for next week. o_O; And I don't know if I'll have anything money-wise for groceries for next week. Chris gave me $25, but that all went into still-needed items for today and tomorrow. Oh, and milk. Those boys burn through milk like nothing I've ever seen before.

And it's been too hot to motivate myself to get across the street to the fitness center. But I put Walk Away the Pounds on the top of my Netflix list, so it should be here soon. We'll see if I like it. If I do, I'll see about getting Chris to copy it for me until I can afford to buy a copy for myself.

I need to do some sewing so I can afford to pick up Half-Blood Prince this weekend or so. One of the downfalls about being a stay-at-home wife: no income of my own to spend as I wish. Unless I do little projects like the sewing, I don't have any "mad money." I just haven't had the energy to sew. Or clean. Or workout. Or do anything other than sit at my computer, watch tv, or nap. I'm wondering if it's because I'm back on my pills. If that's so, I hope this levels out after the first few batches of pills. I'd hate to lose the first week of every pack to hormone-related fatigue.

Plus Chris's parents are coming in this weekend, so it falls to me, the stay-at-home, to clean. I tried using the "but they're not my parents, I don't care what they think" approach in arguing against it, but Matt trumped me with the "but you're home more" approach. (grump, sulk) Besides, isn't there a universal kitchen law that states "The one who cooks is exempt from the cleanup?" I do fracking all the cooking. Matt and Chris should be able to pitch in and do a load of dishes. And I don't mean just tossing what can go in, into the dishwasher, adding a tablet and starting it. I mean the heavy-duty cleanup. The pots and pans that don't go in the dishwasher. Why can't they team up after dinner and wash them? One wash, one dry and put away. I spent an hour or more on dinner, it's the least they could do. Or even just put the fracking leftovers away. (sigh)

But on the plus side, Sci-Fi Friday starts up again tonight. New SG-1, new Atlantis (we're rooting for the Wraith, is that bad?), and new Galactica!!! I'm excited. I'll be watching the first section by myself, most likely, as Matt doesn't get out of work until 8 at the earliest and it takes him half an hour to get home, and as mentioned above, Chris's parents are coming into town. Too bad I don't have an air popper. That'd be the perfect time to have the 3 cups air-popped popcorn allowed as a snack. I'll make do with the apples an yogurt. Mmmm.

Never again am I skipping the gym three days in a row. Matt was off this weekend, so I basically hung around him all weekend. We had to do a ton of running around Friday. He needed to get his tires rotated, balanced and aligned, so while that was happening, we walked around the Streets at Southpoint: basically a giant mall, half indoors, half outdoors. A nice mall, too, but you don't want to do the outdoor part if it's a hot humid day (which Friday was). Plus side, I got a wonderful caramel apple at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Minus side, I ripped up my heels and got a blister on my little toe (my feet didn't care for my shoes...the ones I was used to wearing are pretty much destroyed). A quick hop out to the dealership so he could pick up his draw check, then back home so I could change shoes and he could do a little cleaning (litter boxes, vacuum). Then back out. First to Kroger, to get the stuff for the salad and some other stuff they had on sale, then Dollar General and Food Lion to get what was left. Then all afternoon/evening was chopping and mixing and plating the foods, then I crashed on the couch while the party went on.

Saturday, he started playing Need For Speed Underground 2 at 9 am. We totally forgot that we were going to go to book study on Saturday because we missed it Tuesday night. He pretty much played NFSU2 until 6 pm, when Carolyn, Tim and Immy arrived. We went out to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner. They have a new soup, Canadian cheese and smoked ham. Oh my goodness, that was good. Esp. with a piece of sourdough bread. We came back, they all went to the park with Immy (who is 4), and I played with my computer some, since I could finally get to it. They came back after an hour, and Matt got back into the game. I managed to nag him to go to bed around 11:30.

Sunday, we got up, he played NFSU2 for an hour or so before meeting, we came home, had lunch, he got back in the game, I hacked up meat for kabobs, he and Chris went grocery shopping again, I pigged out on crackers and experienced a carb crash (ugggh), then he got back in the game until I reminded him he needed to grill the meat. He did, and we had meat and watched Something's Gotta Give until the disk gagged. So, another return to Netflix with "Please Send Replacement." Then he got back in the game. (Are we sensing a pattern?)

So anyway, the last time I'd been to the gym was Thursday. I went back today, started up the machine, planning on using the same pattern I've been using. Two minutes into my highest speed, I felt like I was dying. So, pause, sip of water, catch breath, get back on machine. Five minutes later, dying. Repeat another time before I finally cut the session short at 25 minutes (I'd been up to 40).

It looks like three days is too many to skip. I'm going to have to make the effort this coming weekend to find the fitness center in the hotel and walk on the treadmill at least one night to keep the pace going. Add in that we're probably going to be eating out at least two meals, and I have to try to keep it healthy if I want to make my 5lbs by Aug 5th goal.

Okay, I'm back on the diet and exercise wagon. Yesterday and today, I went to the gym, walked on the treadmill for 40 minutes. Goes fast when there's a show I enjoy on. Yesterday it was Seven Days, today DS9. Also, the nausea and fatigue seems to be easing, but I'm starting to feel the diuretic effects of this new pill. Dry mouth. I drank all 8 glasses of water by 2 pm, then switched over to green tea, as it's supposed to help with belly fat. Heh, I'm making Matt drink it, too. He gets more honey in his, though, since he's not (as far as I know) IR.

Today, though, after getting off the treadmill, I felt lightheaded and a little queasy. I sat on one of the weight machines for a while, sipped some water (I'd taken a break after 20 minutes or so and had some, too), and waited for the world to stop spinning. Felt okay enough to walk, so walked back to the apartment, thinking, okay, I just need to get some lunch (I'd had a bowl of cereal w/milk around 10, and this was about 12:30 or so). Got upstairs, into the apartment, and my hands were shaking. Without thinking I grabbed an apple and chowed down at the sink. It was almost gone before I realized that it wasn't a particularly good apple, sort of dry and mealy. I felt steady enough to get the leftovers out of the fridge, plate them, and put them in the microwave. Ate a leftover cranberry muffin while it heated up.

And I just spilled water all over myself while checking the level in the bottle.... Guess that's nature's way of saying, "Go take a shower!!"

Dang, but I've been active today. First, I walked to and from my study. Then, I did a one-lap walk with Cyn. Then, Chris persuaded me to go down to the tennis court and whack a few tennis balls around. And I actually managed to hit some; we actually had a few good volleys going for a while. Then again, I did hit more than my share over the fence and into the basketball court. Got tired of that within 20 minutes, though, so I decided I wanted to go to the pool. Walk back to the apartment, change, walk back down to the basketball court to give Chris back his keys, then over to the pool. Locked. Caught a maintenance guy over there, asked about it. Turns out the pump is broken, and the first replacement part was the wrong part. So no pool til Monday, maybe Tuesday. So, back to the apartment.

Still, this is more active than I've been in a long time. Still have sore feet, a popped hip, and a twisted ankle to show for it. :-P

Well, it's the start of week four of my diet and exercise regime. I'm down about 15 or 20 lbs. I had a sabotaged week when I went back into the workforce and quit. Last weekend was shot when hubby was home and we celebrated anniversary. I was actually doing okay until 2 things: 1) hubby bought a ginormous bag of Reeses Pieces, and 2) I let him serve my lunch Sunday, and he put half my day's allotment of food into that one meal.

But, I'm back on track today. I did my weights, and I may be going walking later (if the sky stays clear). I need to wash off my water bottle, take my vitamins, and eat lunch. I still need to get back into the habit of eating breakfast when I get up, instead of getting absorbed into my computer and the tv.

I also need to pick up the apartment today. My friend comes out for a visit this weekend, and even though we roomed together for four years in college, and she knows I'm a slob, I'd still like the place to look nice. That and she's meeting my husband for the first time. I think she's still worried that I hooked up with someone wrong for me, like all my old boyfriends. I'm hoping that when she sees Matt, sees us together, she'll realize I made the exact right choice.

Well, I'm back on my walking schedule again. It was 68 degrees with 69% humidity. Yikes. I really really really need to get a shower, but the diswasher is running and I don't know if my poor little water heater can handle both at once. Hopefully the dishwasher will stop soon and I can go hose off (and play with my new razor, yay).

Then I get to scrub the kitchen floor. Whoopie. :-P

Sometimes I think being the housewife really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Then I remember being in the work force, and think, "Hey, what's scrubbing a floor once a week, after all?"

Still, it would be nice to get a paycheck for it. :-P

Okay, so I've dug out all the books and journals again, and once more I'm trying to lose weight. I have a workout buddy. No workout today, as I'm waiting around for the wireless people to come and upgrade the access points.

Oh, and just so no one thinks I'm like, super-skinny and just want to lose a pound or two, I'm 5'6" and 250 lbs. I need to lose like 100 lbs to be healthy. Weights, aerobics, stretching, and reduced-calories. Increasing my water intake.

I'm hungry and I have to pee. :-P

Today I just felt craptacular all day. Got at least some things done in the spare room, but until we get jobs and can get the bedframe in there rebuilt (a super-single waterbed frame just doesn't quite fit a double spring mattress), there's not much else I can do. I can't put out too many more of my dolls, because a) most of my shelves (I have three bookcases I bought specifically for doll display) have been commandeered by my husband for books and dvds, and b) I can't put anything on the lower three-to-five feet of the cases because those are in child-grabbing range. So, my ten boxes of dolls and doll accessories/furniture stay boxed up.

Then, I was supposed to go to meeting tonight (for those of you who don't know, I'm studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses). I felt like crap, so no go. Didn't want to stay here, either, so I got my shit together and went down to the gym. Set the tv to CSI, got on the bike, started pedaling. No one else was there. It was perfect. Then, not even five minutes there, someone else showed up. Okay, no big. She was on the treadmill, wasn't giving me no never-mind, okay. I can deal with this. Ten minutes after that, a frickin FAMILY shows up, with a three-year-old who likes to play on the treadmill. No frickin way. I don't care for kids, and when I'm in a crappy mood, I don't want to be around them. So, I finished up the pattern on the bike. By then, treadmill girl was onto some of the weight training machines. I found the pec fly machine, did a few reps, then had to leave. Just too many people in too small a space.

Thought about going for a walk, but didn't really want to. Thought about visiting my other friends in the complex, but they too have children, and I've seen enough of their kids this week. So, back to the apartment, where I tried my recipe for relaxation:

-candles
-bubble bath
-water so hot I almost can't sit in it
-ice water to drink
-dim lights
-loud music. Tonight, Evanescence

Soaked for nearly the whole cd, then rinsed off. Still feeling craptacular, but at least I got some exercise and got clean.